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Ladyboys like turkey too. Happy Thanksgiving.

I think when people reminisce about Thailand or South East in general, it generally ranks as thus:
1) Food.
2) Beaches.
3) Riding around on motorcycles\scooters.
4) Where are all the temples?
5) Prostitutes and monks.
6) Whats up with that dude\chick.

Since I have pretty much written about 1-5, all we have to round out Asia is Ladyboys. Now, there is tons of info out there if you want some sterile answer or ladyboy porn, but on the ground information is hard to come by about this misunderstood asian culture. So to put it into a level where I would understand it, I can sum it up to one observation that I had while in Laos.

I forget which town it was, but it was on the Mekong River, towards the south, right by the Friendship Bridge #2 (I think). I was sitting in the plaza having a drink from one of those carts that have a bunch of glass cylinders full of colorful liquids chock full of different kinds of gummy worms and shapes. If you go there I recommend the milky white one with the thin green gummy worms (but make sure that you stir it first because they put the sugary water and sweetened condensed milk in the bottom and if you don’t stir it, it tastes kind of starchy at first then overly sweet. Anyways, I was sitting there and across from me were three guys sitting at a table. Right away you could tell that they were the “cool guys”. From ground up, they had the Converse high top canvas basketball shoes, low riding skinny jeans, big cowboy style belt buckles, rocker t-shirts, bling bling rings and necklaces, tattoos, smoking cigarettes, and South Korean Pop Star Haircut. They were all sorts of too cool for school. With them was this kinda scary looking teenage transvestite/ladyboy. The guy/girl was looking a bit rough. Imagine this, you take a normal guy, sit him down in front of a mirror with an average teenage girls make up case and give him twenty minutes to do himself up to his interpretation of a sexy girl. That was what his make-up looked like. For clothes he/she looked like he raided his closet and made do with what he had. Pink flip flops, tight cut-off jeans, and an overly tight tank top which was probably taken from his/her little brother. What a not so sexy sight. It felt like it was a college hazing trick gone wrong. In America, something like that just wouldn’t work. To be part of the “in” crowd, if your shoes weren’t up to snuff you would be banished. Here, they seemed pretty nonchalant about the person sitting with them.

Now, the conversation that went on about them was in Laotian so I cant guarantee of the complete accuracy, but from my acute sense of interpretation, this is what went on.

Tom, Dave, and Bob were having a beer and a smoke chatting about last nights Premier League game and Metallicas greatest hits when Milton/Milly comes walking up and sits down.

Tom: Hey Milton, is that you?
Milton/Milly: Yea, but its Milly now.

Dave: So, you switched last night.
Milly: Yea, it was time.

Tom: That’s cool. So you won’t be playing football with us tomorrow?
Milly: Yea, no more football.
Tom: Heeeeey Kyle.
Kyle: Hey Tom, what’s up?
Tom: Milly just switched last night and she can’t play tomorrow. Can you play winger for us?
Kyle: Yea, no problem.
Kyle: Looking good Milly.
Milly: Thanks.

Kyle: Hey Mitch, you still need a date for the dance?
Mitch: Yea.
Kyle: Milton switched last night I think she’s available.
Mitch: Hey Milly, looking good.
Milly: Thanks.
Mitch: Wanna go to the dance with me?
Milly: Sure.
Mitch: Okay, I’ll pick you up at eight.
Milly: Okay.

Barbi and Paris (two super hot chicks in mini skirts, heels, and tight school blouses) come walking up: Hey guys.
Guys: Hey ladies.
B&P: Milton is that you?
Guys: Yea, but its Milly now.
B&P: You’re hot.
Milly: Thanks.
B&P: Are you going to the dance?
Milly: Yea, Mitch is taking me.
B&P: Well then, we need to get to work. Come on over to my house. I think my outfit will look better on you. I’ll take it off and you can try it on. (I am not going into some weird sex dream but referring to the general fact that these cross over dudes are always hanging out with the hottest girls. I think it is that same reason in the states with the gay guys, the women feel more comfortable hanging out with a gay guy who is not going to be scamming on them all the time.) Barbi can do your make-up and you’ll knock Mitch’s socks off.
Milly: Sounds great, let’s go.

And that is an example of how different the whole ladyboy issue is handled in SEAsia versus for example America where the same thing would have lasted the first sentence and then the person would either have gotten beaten up or totally shunned.

In other life situations, they are acclimated to a decent point as many are employed in some surprising jobs. For example, in all the shopping malls, you will always find them working at one of the make-up counters. The theory is pretty good as if the person is able to make a guy look beautiful, think how well they could they fix up a normal woman. Most retailers were open to the new ladies as well as in most clothes shops. I am guessing that upper end professional jobs are lacking in their integration, but I am pretty sure the upper scale switchers have had the best surgeons and are not going to be identified by even the most hardened macho man.

So in general, if your thinking of crossing over and want an easier transformation in real life, think South East Asia. Good luck.

Oh yea, if you are not sure how to identify a ladyboy, they are the one with the penis.



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One response to “Ladyboys like turkey too. Happy Thanksgiving.”

  1. Kimmy says:

    haha… LOVE IT!

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