BootsnAll Travel Network

Just some useless crap that I have come up with while traveling in Ethiopia.

Flies. Those nasty little bastards that like to land on shit and multiply like, well flies. Crossing over from Kenya to Ethiopia there must be some sort of line because you go from normal flies to the aggressive Kamikaze type that actually attack you. I have only dealt with them once before in the Australian outback. You have to have seen them even if you haven’t been to Australia. Steve Irwin “The Crocodile Hunter”, God rest his sole, and one of my few heroes, on his tv show if you watch when he is in the Outback there are constantly flies attacking him, landing on his face and crawling into his mouth, nose, eyes, and ears. That’s what they were like in South Omo. They don’t simply fly around lazily, softly land on you and begin licking up your fluids. These go straight for your face and particularly the moistness from your mouth, nose, and eyes. No hesitancy, but straight up aggressiveness. They also are not seditary. The like to land and then dance around making sure you know they are there. It is the nastiest experience when you are walking around and a fly lands on the corner of your mouth and then tries to climb in. You freak out, whack yourself in the face and then start spitting and wiping like you just got a Dirty Sanchez. It’s the same with your eyes and nose. Freaks you out. Why is this such an issue, well for one it is just plain freaky and has to be said, and two it would come into play again, in my downfall. Getting interested yet?

McDonalds. I love McDonalds and everybody else hates them. But why have they served like 6 billion. Why is that? Hmmmmm? A lot of closet McDonalds people I say. Oh yea, not part of my downfall, but a little bit of my recovery.

Speaking of McDonald’s, you know what offsets nasty Injeera and meat, Cheeseburgers. Now that I am in Addis, it’s at least a Cheeseburger a day. Here in Addis, people get stuck, and I know why. Well it’s not directly because of Cheeseburgers, but in that you can get international food here at a cheap price. If you have been traveling a while and eating strictly local food, it is very refreshing to be able to go and get a Cheeseburger, pizza, steak, Chinese food, or whatever else your heart desires. Apparently there is a place called Family Restaurant that serves good Mexican food. Ahhhh, foooooddd.

Ethiopia is the first American friendly country that I have traveled to in Africa. I had not seen an American flag outside of an Embassy and even then most of the Embassies aren’t out flying the Red, White, and Blue. Here in Ethiopia, America is the shit. I guess because of the past aide that was given, the current aide, and the mass migration of Ethiopians that were allowed to move to the US, the people just love the US. Anything with a US flag on it is a big seller. It is nice to find a place that is outright American friendly. I am definitely not one to shy away from the fact that I am American, but it is nice to know that when you say that you are American, that you don’t have to watch your back.

Ethiopian Women. Beautiful yes. Compared to other African countries gorgeous. Ethiopia had a decent mix of Europeans, and Arabic/Middle East, so they have a sort of multi-racial background. All countries that are interracially mixed seem to be that way. Just take a look at Miami. It must be the most beautiful place in the world since it is an International gateway. In Ethiopia, especially Addis, the women are a lighter skinned, with a slimmer body style but still with the great African women assets, and a wider variety of natural hair styles. I think the skin has to be the kicker as it is a soft mocha and looks and feels like the finest silk. There are so many women with this flawless skin. I don’t think they are going to be winning many Mrs. Universe Pageants because the look is not classic enough, but it definitely fits a Benetton or any Exotic knitch type advertisement. The style that really catches my eye are the women that are petite with a gorgeous face and this whacked out finger in a light socket hair style. I love Addis.

Ethiopian is a bargain. In Addis, another reason why people get stuck here, is that things are very good value. In other countries I am eating in market stalls, chomping on locals dishes. Here in Addis, I can go to a trendy French Cafe, order a Cappuccino, a French pastry, and hob know with the local rich folk and walk out with a $1.00 bill. Nice. It is nice to not only be back into civilization, but also to mingle with it. I love Addis.

Coca Cola. Okay, this one might get me into trouble, but there is something very suspicious about Coca Cola. Everyone knows that it is huge. It is found in all but two countries in the world (Steve guess.) Why is that? It’s not like it has a great flavor. It’s not like it’s got the taste of let’s say a Mango and Avocado juice. But yet, everybody drinks it and drink it a lot. I was one of the rebels for about 17 years. As a kid but especially during High School and College I was addicted to the stuff. I easily went through a 12 pack a day, easily. Then one day, I quit. And although it was tough, I stayed off the stuff. Well, because of the travel circumstances in Africa I was forced to at first start drinking Fanta and Sprite. I had stopped drinking sodas in general so even those were a first. Occasionally, places did not have F or S so I had to drink Coke. Slowly, something happened. Even when F and S were available, I would order a Coke. Now, I am not even thinking about it. What’s scary is that I am almost losing the urge for juice because when I feel like drinking something Coke comes to mind first. What is up with that. Sure, Coke has Coca as in cocaine stuff, but I don’t think that is it, something else is in that stuff and it is strong. If for some reason, I end up disappearing, the first place people should start questioning is the big wigs at Coke, because by writing this I think I am putting myself in danger. Boy I’m feeling thirsty. Hmmmmmm… Ahhhhh Coke, Yeaaaaa.. Oh yea, you can add McDonalds to that list as well. I haven’t had the stuff in over a year and a half now but I still think about it. The first moment after a sickness when I get cravings, you know what it’s for, yup that’s right Big Mac Meal. Okay, so after visiting the big wigs at Coke, take a mosey on down to Mickey D’s and start throwing some questions around as well. Secret sauce is right.

Ethiopian toothbrush. Actually I started seeing them in Kenya, but the locals use a kind of branch as a tooth brush. It seemed a bit barbaric at first until a tribal girl gave me one on one of our stops on the Isiolo to Moyale run. You basic use the end like an eraser on a pencil. You use it to rub your teeth. As you use it the ends start to soften and since the branch is fibrous, it creates a brushy end. After researching it, I learned that the branch is actually from an evergreen bush named Salvadora Persica. Natural chemicals in it include Chloride, Vitamin C, and natural anti-biotics. It’s amazing these natural wonders.

Okay, that’s it for now. I hope I made everybody just that much more smarter.

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