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I WIN! I WIN! I WIN! Steve 1 Congo 0

Copy of visa-1.jpg

Kiss my ass Government of the Congo (or at least the part that is in Lusaka), because I have my Visa and I am coming.

I went in friday and did my usual glance and sit as all the other crap really isn’t necessary at this point. About 10am, a guy came in dressed to the T’s and had almost everybody bowing down to him. As he was leaving, I stepped up and asked him if I could have a word. The room silenced and the guy gave me this look like I just pee’d in his coffee. It was definitely a “who do you think you are peasant” moment. I just asked him if he could help with a Visa. He just pointed at the receptionist and sneered “He may assist you”, and walked away. My first inclination was to tell him that he was a dressed up piece of shit, but then I thought of it in a different way. With this guy being the almighty and telling me the receptionist could handle it, I was set. I would just tell the receptionist that the big guy gave him the power so stamp that bastard and let me out of here. Unfortunately, the receptionist said that the guy was the Ambassador and did not deal with the Visa process. Back to square one.

Later, the receptionist confided in me and told me that the Chancellor would be coming in a few minutes and that I should ambush him. When the guy came in, the receptionist gave me a glance and so I attacked. I cornered him and while he was in a loss at what in the hell was this peasant talking to him for, he rambled on about something in regards to no visas. I had already had a back up plan and threw it out as I thought my original plan was a little to adventurous. So, basically I lied. I told him that I wanted a Visa and that I was going to take a French course just across the border in Lumbumbashi in order that I would have the French language down when I traveled along the West coast. He stammered something and told me to leave the passport with the receptionist. I gladly complied and took off before any more questions.

At three, I went in and took my seat. The rec. guy was running around finishing off the visas for the day so I did not bother him. On one of his passings he told me it would be just a minute and that he had gotten the approval, so it was just the final paperwork that had to be done. I was ecstatic, but cautious as I talked to a guy who was there in the morning and was being helped specifically by a member of the staff. He was transporting truck loads of Coal from Zimbabwe for the mines in the Congo. The trucks were held up at the border and the mines needed it. That was why one of the Embassy ladies was specifically helping him. He was supposed to have been out of there before noon. I heard the reception guy tell the other one that the Chancellor had left without signing the paperwork. This guy was screwed. He said that not only was the visa a problem, but their transfer manifest would expire before the weekend so it they did not get the trucks moving that day, they were screwed. That shows how big of a prick these guys are. Even for stuff they need they will screw the people over. How many times I heard “when you enter the gates, you are in the Congo, so sit down.”

Oh well, after another hour the guy handed me back my Visa. I was almost done. They owed me some change so I waited another hour, and then after giving the guys a tip, I was out of the hell hold.

I have my Visa and I can get on with preparing for departure. Happy days.

Oh yea, every person in the Congolese Embassy with the exception of one gate guard can kiss my ass.

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