For Mom, Love Steve

You remember back a few pages when I was fishing In Narathiwat, Southern Thailand (which is currently being featured on CNN-“ Terrorism in tourist central”), I met that French guy who hated America and made a living taking photos of cats in exotic places? Well, I was thinking, cats suck, nobody likes cats, well maybe not that extreme, but most people certainly wouldn’t shovel out cash to look at photos of cats but yet the number one cat photographer guy in France sold like 50,000 copies just in Europe. So I’m thinking maybe people like looking at photos of stuff in exotic places. I prefer to not look at photos of markets, temples/religious buildings, non-hot Russian models in bikinis, cats, and outdoor scenery. So what to do? I was driving Amo making a run for lunch during a break in fishing in that hidden bay that I had found when I passed a really cool sight. It was a shiny purple and green snake. Now, its guts were sort of spilling out as it had just been run over by a truck or something, but still, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. It was a mix of seeing a beautiful rainbow over a jungle waterfall and a horrific traffic accident. And then it clicked. Road kill snakes. Cha Ching.

Some people apparently think cats are cute and cuddly. People think snakes are mysterious and exotic. That’s a tie, 50,000 books sold. But now add in photos of dead cats and what do you get, well I guess that might be hard to calculate as the cat lovers might be repulsed at the idea, but I have a sneaking suspicion that there are a lot of cat haters who would spend some cash to see the little nuisances all laid out on the pavement. So lets say +10,000. Now dead snake on the road, hell in real life the thing would be surrounded by people almost in a trance not being able to look away. Little kids all the way to Centurions will stare and poke a dead snake with a stick. So, I’m thinking +75,000. You see, like money in the bank. And people think there is no money to be made in this economy.

When I was cruising down the coastline with my biker buddies is the first time that the dead snake idea came up. Every 100 meters or so there was a dead snake. I would have loved to have pulled over and checked a few out but as I was in a group it wasn’t possible. Later, when I was in Malaysia crossing the Cameron Highlands there were quite a few of the Kimono Dragons hit by cars and motorcycles. They were these five foot monsters with a tire track right down their center. Pretty crazy stuff.

The plan was to take the same route north of Chumpheon where I rode with the biker guys but this time to snap some photos. As we passed so many to I figured it would be easy to click off the fifty or so photos that I would need to make a book. Plus, when I went to the north with an all new variety of snakes I could round it off with a few more chapters. It was going to be easy. Money was going to rolling in and I might have to do books two and three by going back to Africa and South America.

Now, I wasn’t able to track the exact route as I was looking for fishing spots on the coastline. It could have been that the original route I took was through some snake sanctuary or something, but this new route was snakeless. In fact the whole circuitous route through central and northern Thailand was a snake desert. I am pretty certain the seasons played a big part of the lack of photographic models. As I was traveling back up, it was towards the end of the monsoon season so water was plentiful. Everything was green and for a snake it must have been like paradise. Food and structure everywhere so what need was there to cross the road. It was just bad timing on my part. It was really tough and disheartening to see your dreams crushed. And I guarantee it wasn’t for lack of trying nor the ones I did take easy. Some people watch those Animal Planet shows where some guy is out trying to catch a Mamba or a Cobra. Sure that’s dangerous, but so is stopping on the side of a single lane freeway where the bike lane is a curb and a bunch of Thai trucks are whipping around you at 150 kmh. Scanning both sides of the road while driving around was also not the most safe and sane. So as I was heading north I quickly had to downsize my plans. Instead of a full on book maybe I could get away with something smaller like a coffee table picture book, then with the numbers really dwindling I switched to a possible calendar, and finally to the end where I had to pull the plug on any money making endeavors and settle for a sampling to just test the waters for later publications. So that is where it ended. A big five photos. But don’t think of it as a total loss, for you as a future customer are in for a great bargain. For a limited time you can print out the following photos and use them as Christmas cards (free of charge of course). For me it will be beneficial as I am sure the demand will explode and I will quickly be funded to make another venture possibly during the dry season when there is more snake activity.

Oh yea, the French suck. People in order to like something you have to dislike something. Like right now, there are a bunch of people squabbling about my Dirty India? post. There are some people who say the British suck, some say the Indians suck, everybody says the Americans suck, so I figure everyone should dislike somebody. I also believe that the French guy did it so as to create conversation which apparently is a big thing in France so I am assuming they are pretty good at it and wouldn’t mind another person hating them. Besides how cool is it to hate a country like Lesotho or Suriname. So climate problems- the French did it. Downturn in the economy-the French. Dirty India? Freaking French. Easy isn’t it.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, November 8th, 2009 at 5:49 am and is filed under Thailand. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.